Absolutely. I guess I showed that poorly before, but yes, I am terrified of losing my ED as much as I am wishing it didn’t exist. It is my main coping mechanism. I don’t know what sort of new destructive behaviors would sprout up if it were gone. At least I know this evil.

After the first sentence you wrote, I’m not really sure how to respond. So…I am not a bulimic desperate to get better because I haven’t gone to treatment? :/ They stop the b/p’ing and “all that”? What’s the “all that”? Moreover, what am I supposed to take away from this little antidote?

I’m also curious *why* these certain desperate bulimics are so desperate…unless they are literally dying from it, I can only surmise with my disordered mind that it is for their families and loved ones that have caught them and the shame, humiliation, and disappointment is too much to bear.

Oh, and not to be all contrary-guy, but I watched this documentary about eating disorder treatment, and it followed two of the girls that completed the program “successfully”. They went out to dinner to celebrate the night they were released from the hospital. They both went to their homes and purged their celebratory dinners in their bathrooms, on camera. Another little fact, one of the girls is now dead.